so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
