garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Randomize
