In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
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