He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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