Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Randomize
