If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Randomize
