I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
