i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
