I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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