You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
We are all done wearing pants today
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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