i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Banned from zoo.
Again?
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
two words...techno handjob
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I would fuck him just for his dog
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
