I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
