Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(313): View more from Michigan

I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was

(734): View more from Michigan

you're 26.

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(540): View more from Virginia

the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.

Fav 47 948 8322
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(515): View more from Iowa

Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.

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(240): View more from Maryland

He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.

Fav 53 2431 14342
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(631): View more from New York

She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.

Fav 14 5657 1114
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(920): View more from Wisconsin

well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.

Fav 5 3658 1071
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(401): View more from Rhode Island

I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce

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(904): View more from Florida

I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.

Fav 1 562 419
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(405): View more from Oklahoma

Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning

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