ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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