drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
