dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Randomize
