i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
