it wasn't lemon gatorade
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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