My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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