It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
