And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize