Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
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