11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Randomize
