I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize