ADVERTISEMENT

• (541): View more from Oregon

  at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww

  Fav 109 1777 33302

  share tweet
  

• (925): View more from California

  Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.

  Fav 24 5591 1870

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (386): View more from Florida

  I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.

  Fav 13 2094 1889

  share tweet
  

• (330): View more from Ohio

  Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?

  Fav 11 2282 1002

  share tweet
  

• (707): View more from California

  is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??

  (408): View more from California

  your beer goggles are on backwards.

  Fav 4 4492 1103

  share tweet
  

• (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza

  Fav 3 1968 802

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (304): View more from West Virginia

  The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.

  Fav 9 2357 737

  share tweet
  

• (514): View more from Quebec

  Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.

  Fav 4 1543 828

  share tweet
  

• (219): View more from Indiana

  I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!

  Fav 2 1086 525

  share tweet
  

• (509): View more from Washington

  he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.

  Fav 2 807 363

  share tweet
  

• (203): View more from Connecticut

  Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"

  Fav 0 317 168

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (248): View more from Michigan

  How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?

  Fav 0 147 125

  share tweet
  

• (907): View more from Alaska

  I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss

  Fav 0 83 119

  share tweet
  

• (906): View more from Michigan

  I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.

  Fav 2 70 18

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (618): View more from Illinois

  Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?

  (1-618): View more from Illinois

  She was just sleeping.

  (618): View more from Illinois

  Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?

  Fav 0 32 6

  share tweet
  

Randomize