youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
kristin has been a bad kristin
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
