i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
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