Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
