i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
