My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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