Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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