and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
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