Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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