God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
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