my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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