wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
i dont even know how to be here
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
