I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
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