i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
