my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
