Three words: puerto rican gang bang
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Randomize
