Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
