When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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