How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
