I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize