I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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