i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
