we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
