I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
