She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
