Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
