also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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