Whatcha textin bout Willis?
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
