Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize