don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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