dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
