is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
