you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
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