just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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