i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
so much tequila, so little girl.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize