I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
