i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
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