My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
