So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize