Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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