sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
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