Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
