And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Boobs are out for the taking
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
