It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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