We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Randomize