Tell her she can't have a vagina
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
