Porn is love you can see.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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