Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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