Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
