How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
